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So, I got shot in the face and they remade it and I got all disgusted… - Dont get swallowed by...THE BLOG!
Vlad 2.0...Coming soon!
So, I got shot in the face and they remade it and I got all disgusted cuz my face looked like some fuckin tool but I went with it and I bought a jacket and tie and typed up a resume except on the resume it said "Vlad the fucking Tool" but they read "Vlad Tool" and still hired me and then I was introduced to everyone as "Vladtool" as one fucking word and thats what everyone called me so I had to quit that job.

I got another job where everyone called me "Vlawd" as in "Vlawd, this is Todd. Hey! Your names rhyme!" No they dont you bigmotherfuckinghumanresourcespieceofshit. I quit that one too.

Then I got a job as an assistant for this wierd ass scientist. One day I was shredding papers for him because I was "paid to work, not surf the internet!" and I read about what kind of science he was doing. It was this wierd ass experimental type shit, all havin to do with slowing down the aging process and skin and shit like that. And I didn't understand the methods behind the madness but what I did understand was this guy was payin me $8.25 an hour so I might as well fuck with his shit to give me some more stuff to sweep. So I went in the lab and started turning on all these switches and shit and I pushed some buttons and I had to power up the main decelerator but I must have done it too much cuz I stepped inside that thing and it went crazy like a ho with a bottle of 151. And what ended up happenin was my face ripped OFF! And then my original face GREW BACK! And looking back, it probably was a bad idea to even take that job cuz I'm worth much more than 8.25 an hour but it all worked out fine in the end.

Current Mood: I curse a lot.

5 comments or Leave a comment
From: hyperbole Date: December 2nd, 2004 05:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

That's it, I'm going to start calling you vlawd from now.
From: crudelyperfect Date: December 3rd, 2004 12:23 am (UTC) (Link)
Know what you need to do?

Go take a vacation in chicago and find some anorexic chickie. And like fly her in the wind.
It'll be fun
From: truthseeker18 Date: December 7th, 2004 08:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
I like this a lot! Did you write it "stream of consciousness" style all at once, or is that just how you wanted it to look but it really took you a long time?
metavlad From: metavlad Date: December 8th, 2004 06:06 am (UTC) (Link)
Everything I write in here is "stream of consciousness."
klothos From: klothos Date: January 20th, 2005 06:31 am (UTC) (Link)
one time in junior high my teacher wrote on one of my papers,

stream of consciousness

i think that happens pretty easily. one minute, brilliance is pouring from your fingertips and then suddenly before you realize it you're like, where's the hot dogs? pond water!
5 comments or Leave a comment