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Buick vs. Mazda - Dont get swallowed by...THE BLOG!
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metavlad
metavlad
Buick vs. Mazda
In an earlier post I refered to the fact that comedically speaking, Buick is funnier than Mazda. I was informed of this fact by Patrice O'neal on the car wreck of a show that is Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn. During his 1/2 hour special Comedy Central had bleeped his punchline of "Buick" and he said some throwaway line about how Buick is funny and Mazda is not.

That fact, and it is a fact, has been stewing in my mind for months and I will now explain my thoughts. Firstly, Buick has a hard K sound. Any comedian who has thought about comedy for even half a minute knows that the hard K is gold. "Smoking crack" has seeped into your vocabulary partly because of the hard K sound, I could write a whole 'nother rant on the other reasons, but I digress. You may have noticed you usually dont accuse your friends of smoking peyote (pay-oh-tee) do you?

Another reason is that Buick is part of a plethora of brands (GMC, Oldsmobile, Ford) that is inherently American. Very few Koreans people in Korea drive LeSabres. Its ok for me to make fun of Jews cuz I'm Jewish. When I pick up a penny, I smile at myself. We as Americans can make fun of ourselves, kind like "Nobody talks about my family but me," kind of thing.

Buick also has connotations Mazda does not. When I say Buick you think BIG car. Actually you dont even THINK about it, your mind automatically brings up that image for you. When I say Mazda, you have to actually think about it. If someone is thinking, they are not laughing. Mazda makes umm, err, uh, sedans. And Miatas. Comedically speaking, Mazda Miata is equivelent to Dodge Stratus. Even if the cars aren't that similar. Given the previous point, you'd go with the Stratus. What the fuck is a "stratus" anyway? And along the same lines, what the fuck is a "miata"?

Finally, I will mention the hard K sound again. But now, lets go deeper. The hard K is your BAM! Its the period at the end of your sentence. When you finish with "Mazda" is like ending your sentence with "..." Example: And so Bill died...
That ellipse makes you think "Well whats next? Did he go to heaven? COME ON!" Buick is the period at the end of your joke. And so Bill died.
The audience thinks "The End" and they can laugh, or they can clap...

See? You skipped right on down to this line didn't you? Buick, with its hard K brings closure to the joke. And everyone needs closure.





And I have now sucked out some more funny.
This was for _nondescript.
5 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
_nondescript From: _nondescript Date: April 24th, 2004 10:58 am (UTC) (Link)

*applauds*
cloudedoracle From: cloudedoracle Date: April 24th, 2004 11:07 am (UTC) (Link)
See my comment for that other post. Silly goose.
barbbayb From: barbbayb Date: April 24th, 2004 08:33 pm (UTC) (Link)

muah

this has nothing to do with above post

but just wanted to say-- thanks for your message tonight...
*blush*
skyhigh24 From: skyhigh24 Date: May 13th, 2004 11:15 am (UTC) (Link)
Hello, I was bored and found your lj from a friends friends list. I happen to have a Buick LeSabre and was quite pleased to discover that my car is humorous. My compliments on such an insightful journal.
metavlad From: metavlad Date: May 13th, 2004 05:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks, I try.
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