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Vlad 2.0 coming soon! - Dont get swallowed by...THE BLOG!
Vlad 2.0...Coming soon!
Vlad 2.0 coming soon!
We here are Vladimir Enterprises LLP have been working hard to come out with a product that would satisfy you, the consumer. And so we shall now update you on our progress in regards to completing Vlad 2.0.

We know that we've pushed 2.0 back many times since we stated our initial release date of July 1, 2002. There are many reasons for this but mainly because of a backlog of temporary files that we have been unable to delete.

Outback_Steakhouse.EXE, which started out as a small program has grown to nearly three times its original size. Simply keeping up with the Demanding_Boss.exe, which runs not only when Outback is running but when Outback is short on resources, has kept us busy.
Along with Outback_Steakhouse.EXE slowing Vlad down, we also have to deal with the Crappy_'87_Civic_Wagon protocol which often leads to delays.

The Comedysportz upgrade, which we sent out in July 2001, has helped build the Bring_the_Funny subdirectories in Vlad 1.0 but they are still not large enough. We hope to make Comedysportz a larger part of Vlad 2.0 when it comes out.

We know you have sent many complaints regarding the Philosophy and Current_Events folders. The main complaint for the Philosophy folders is that the files you download never finish, and you end up with a little information but not much to back it up. And the files that do finish downloading are simply useless, for example, the empty Aristotle folder and full Matrix Movies References folder.
The Current_Events folder, which was originally intended as as fodder for Topical_Jokes.EXE, has also continued to grow. We have no way of stopping this. However, changing the subject does stop the Stupid_Opinions_based_on_Other_peoples_smart_opinions.EXE program from getting out of hand. Deleting the Ways_Bush_Has_Screwed_Us database only gives more resources to Stupid_Opinions...EXE and often gives it free reign to make up facts (Look up the Bullshit folder, the first file is usually Dick Cheney eats Jewish Babies.DOC)

In recent months we have installed a Nagging Guilt patch. This adds GYM/WORKOUT.EXE to the List of Scheduled Tasks. And while SLEEP.EXE and Laziness.EXE often overpower it, they often over power everything, so be glad its even on the list.

Livejournal.EXE, which for a while sucked up all system resources, has returned to normal, just as expected. Livejournal.EXE often has that effect on a system, when Boredom.EXE has been constantly running.

Currently we're working on a possible fix for the No_Girlfriend.EXE program. We're working hard and may soon find solution if we can get help from the people at Debby From Creative Writing, Inc.

The release of Vlad 2.0 is now planned for sometime in 2005 but we may push it forward if we can find a way to get New_Car.DLL to work with No_Money.XLS

Now its time for monthly maintenance. Everyone go run Haircut.EXE.

Current Mood: geeky

5 comments or Leave a comment
taboophantasy From: taboophantasy Date: November 21st, 2003 12:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Marry me.
nitwit027 From: nitwit027 Date: November 22nd, 2003 12:14 am (UTC) (Link)


Dude that is so the tron-esq lifestyle. i loved "Currently we're working on a possible fix for the No_Girlfriend.EXE program. We're working hard and may soon find solution if we can get help from the people at Debby From Creative Writing, Inc." great stuff
From: (Anonymous) Date: December 1st, 2003 12:17 pm (UTC) (Link)

One more thing...

Hi, my name's Norm Peterson, and I got a Vlad for my son Andrew a while back. Andy really loves his Vlad, and it worked great for a year or so, but then right after the warranty expired we started having some antivirus issues. Since the holiday season is here, I'd love to fix up his Vlad for Christmas. Have you gotten any news on fixing that W32.diabetes@mm bug thats been going around??? Thanks alot


Oh, and has there been any progress on the Theatrical_Debut sim we've all been waiting for?
metavlad From: metavlad Date: December 1st, 2003 02:11 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: One more thing...

Thanks for your interest. We've recently discovered that the W32.diabetes@mm bug was imbedded in the system by the original creator, and activation of it can be caused by nearly anything, however, after running for a while Vlad 1.0 adjusts to it and you barely even notice it.
More later...
-Tech support
metavlad From: metavlad Date: December 1st, 2003 08:59 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: One more thing...

Also, as far as the Theatrical_Debut part of the system goes, we haven't finished coding the Theatre Knowledge database yet. We hope this will be finished by fall '04. Thanks for your continued interest.
-Tech Support
5 comments or Leave a comment