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Dramatis Personae - Dont get swallowed by...THE BLOG!
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metavlad
metavlad
Dramatis Personae

Segregation exists. It exists between classes. It exists between races. It exists between everyone. Many have tried to end this problem but few have ever succeeded, but saturday night, I was witness to the one thing that brings people together. Black, white, hispanic and asian, rich and poor, young and old, everyone came together for:

              ALCOHOL!

That's right, saturday night I went clubbing. Some say that the reason people go out to a club is for the music, others say it's the people. They're wrong. If you want no say as to what songs you hear, listen to the radio. Wanna be with people? They're fuckin everywhere. The reason people go clubbing is booze. The music and the people are an afterthought. Hammerjacks, the club I went to, has a very simple business plan: charge 15 bucks a head, then give'em free booze. And since I heard of the club when I was 17, and I am 20 in a month, I'm guessing they're doing fine. Obviously, since I'm not legal I didn't drink. But this allowed me to observe the patrons of said club more objectively.

First, I'll set the stage. At the peak of activity, between 11pm and 1am, the main dancefloor is a sea of people. Infact, manuevering through it, is infact, like swimming. You thrust an arm forward and hopefully the rest of your body will join it soon. Occasionally a school of girls bound at the wrists, slithers past either toward the exit or, more likely, the bar. Being pushed is a given, whether it be by others trying to move past you, or an overaggressive dancer, it will happen. Pay it no mind, unless you're in the mood to fight and get kicked out over it.

Here's some oddball characters!

  • Extremely Large Guy: He's atleast 6'2 and usually built like a truck. He moves slowly, too slowly. It is best to avoid him. Should you happen to bump into him quickly throw your hands into the air as if you were being mugged. This sign of non-aggression, coupled with a mouthed "sorry" will calm him and you can be on your way.
  • Over-Enthusiatic Dude: This man does not stop moving. He just doesnt stop. His body is in a different position/location/"dance move" every single beat of every single song. Even when the track drops away and your favorite R&B singer is singing acapella, this guy is moving to the implied beat, the beat he desperately hopes will start again in 2 seconds. And it does, so he's ok.
  • Random Gay Guy: At a straight club, he is the friend of the hotgirl, and he comes and saves her from whatever guy is on her ass whenever she gives the secret signal. The secret signal being a wide-eyed glare at her gay friend. He's comes up, grabs her by the hand and whisks her away.

Also, I think I found THE REASON PEOPLE SAY "WHITE GUYS CAN'T DANCE."
Here it is folks. After hours of painstaking research I have found out why white guys can't dance:

Whenever a black guy dances by himself, he dances. But when a white guy dances by himself, he simply dances as if he has an invisible girl dancing with/on him. Thus making him out to be a fool.

 

Current Mood: Holla atcher boy

5 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
From: hyperbole Date: March 29th, 2004 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
i tried thinking of a comment with the same quality as this post, but i failed.

take this explosion instead.

metavlad From: metavlad Date: March 30th, 2004 01:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
You're reigning Champion Of Comments. (COC.)
From: hyperbole Date: March 30th, 2004 03:54 pm (UTC) (Link)
damn your ambiguous post of approval/scornful innuendo.
metavlad From: metavlad Date: March 30th, 2004 08:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
Its a compliment, and a sly way of being able to say cock in context. The opportunity doesn't come up much, since my friends don't like cock fighting nor do they raise chickens.
filmgeek84 From: filmgeek84 Date: March 29th, 2004 10:23 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hehe, I was one of the victims of "The Over-Enthusiastic Guy" at a club this weekend, and thus am bringing "The Random Gay Guy" next weekend to save me. :)
5 comments or Leave a comment