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Augustus was face to face with his sworn* enemy. Given the proper… - Dont get swallowed by...THE BLOG!
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Augustus was face to face with his sworn* enemy. Given the proper opportunity, Augustus was quite the fighter. However, the proper opportunity in his case was having a blind and/or paralyzed opponent.

The only blade Augustus wielded was his razor sharp wit, and even that could not save him now. Thinking back, he realized it was probably because of that wit that he was in this situation. Calling his Sworn Enemy "a retarded donkey who couldn't hit the broad side of a barn with a sniper scope and a barrel of buckshot" was probably not a good idea. Especially since his Sworn Enemy had a shotgun, but I'm sure you grasped that by now. Which is exactly the same thing The Sworn Enemy did after he heard that insult, except The Sworn Enemy grasped at the actual shotgun, not the implied idea of it. And he pointed it right at Augustus.

Augustus stepped back. His life flashed before his eyes, and right before it got to this point, that is, the end of his life, it stopped. It stopped at point roughly 3 hours before where he was now. Or, when, he was now. And he saw himself purchasing then pocketing a mirror and a comb. He quickly pulled them out and thrust them in the face of his Sworn Enemy. The Sworn Enemy, whose one weakness was vanity, dropped the shotgun and grabbed the mirror and comb. Augustus ran...in search of, The Talisman.
...The Sworn Enemy would later overcome his vanity, and replace it with hubris, at which point he would be struck down by the Gods for, you guessed it, hubris.




*They were sworn enemies because, at the age of 18 Augustus chose not to join the military, but instead opted for the "Sworn Enemy Clause." Sworn Enemies (SEs) are randomly assigned according to the time they sign up. Since Augustus signed up at 2:47 AM, his SE was a guy who signed up at 2:47 PM. Thats about as polar opposite as you can get, according to the government. You are then faxed an info sheet with all the vital stats of your SE, including their one weakness. If you have more than one weakness you must join the military. Augustus had quite a few, but he put "communism" in order to be let in the SE program**.

**Augustus' weakness was not actually communism. Communism was a red herring.
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Comments
From: hyperbole Date: February 26th, 2004 12:57 am (UTC) (Link)

communism...red..herring...*explode*

you could have won the cold war by yourself.
filmgeek84 From: filmgeek84 Date: February 27th, 2004 10:53 am (UTC) (Link)
Communism is a red herring...one of the greatest movie lines EVER!
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